Introduction: "I’m LISTENING!” pg 9-11

It is not an emotional fancy. Each of us has the inherent human Need to be understood, to be taken seriously and to be really listened to. "I’m LISTENING!” is my invitation to you to gain a better understanding as to why most of us can hear, but few of us listen. It’s an invitation to understand how you can get what you want. It is an invitation to realize how you can be taken seriously, be really understood and be truly listened to. If you want a closer relationship with those with whom you work and live, this can happen through a better understanding of how we humans communicate; how we read and interpret our Words, Inflection, and Body Language.

Your ability to rapport and to communicate with others is absolutely dependant upon your use of these three basic communications tools: Words, Inflection, and Body Language. If your goal is to better understand others, and if you are willing for others to better understand you, then you will enjoy and benefit from reading: "I’m LISTENING!” To communicate... to develop a common-union with others... it is essential to understand what we say, from what we intended to say; how we say it... or don’t say it; and what we convey... or meant to convey when we said it.

Words are nothing more than labels for our experiences; the unseen pictures in the mind. Inflection assigns texture… both feeling and perspective to those pictures. Body language brings those mental pictures to life… exposing that which has remained unspoken. The intent of this book is to help you leap from a world where you have been conditioned to hearing only with your ears to accepting that there is an entire world of listening through observation and conscious awareness. Your ability to rapport with others is dependant upon your willingness and ability to do so.

This world of listening through observation, you will find, may be an entire universe beyond the world to which you may have been accustomed. The most amazing part is… you will find others LISTENING to YOU. They will do it willingly…they will do it for life…and they won’t even know why they’re doing it… guaranteed!

SECTION I of this book is intended to establish the foundation for listening. Sherlock Holmes often said, "People see but they do not observe.” In the same regard, it can be said that "People hear but they do not listen.” Hearing and Listening are about as closely related as lightning would be to the lightning bug. Our choices to seek personal happiness and positive relationships are dependent upon not just our ability to hear but in our willingness to understand what we hear, i.e., to listen to each other.

SECTION II asks the question; Are you listening? Fifty percent of verbal communication requires that we not only speak, but that we also listen. Experience has taught me that before individuals are ready to learn the relationship building skills of Active Listening, people first appreciate hearing some of the obstacles to listening; why people can’t, don’t, won’t, or haven’t been listening. Learn how the dynamics of the classroom and large group settings… to your one-on-one conversations… to even how the composition of the brain has been hindering your relationships. In a seminar setting, it is still fun watching people as they come to the realization, after oh, so many years, that listening and hearing are not synonymous terms. It is like lifting a veil.

SECTION III gets at the heart of highly effective communications and more positive relationship building skills. Throughout this section you will be provided with tangible strategies for Active Listening, building relationships and resolving conflict by understanding and utilizing the three ways that all people use to accept and communicate with each other: through our words, our inflections, our body language, and other non-verbal expressions.

It will be through this awareness… how to read, utilize and integrated the words, inflection and body language… that Active Listening becomes possible. To be truly listened to is a basic human Need. Work to meet this Need in others, and you will immediately discover others going out of their way to meet YOUR Needs…Guaranteed!

I would tell you to sit back and enjoy this third book in the series… but the operative word in Active Listening…is to be ACTIVE. You will be asked to participate…to become involved…to practice these skills. If you really do want a better relationship with your son or daughter, your spouse, your students, or the teacher down the hall, before you walk away from this book, I will ask you to accept the 21 Day challenge. If you are willing to follow through on that challenge, incorporating the skills and understanding provided, you will discover how others will be treating you differently…more positively…and going out of their way to meet YOUR Needs. All this because your words, inflection and body language are now saying, "I’m LISTENING!”

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